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02 June 2013 @ 12:17 am
042  
stiles stilinski mix-islands of violence



001

002


You know when you’re drowning you don’t actually inhale until right before you black out.
It’s called voluntary apnea.
It’s like no matter how much you’re freaking out,
the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won’t open your mouth
until you feel like your head’s exploding.
Then when you finally do let it in, that’s when it stops hurting.
It’s not scary anymore, it’s…it’s actually kind of peaceful.



003


I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness,
the constant, overwhelming fear that something terrible’s about to happen.
It’s called hyper vigilance. The persistent feeling of being under threat.





Maybe it’s not just a feeling though, right, it’s…it’s like it’s a panic attack.
Y’know, like I can’t even breathe.
Like you’re drowning.
Yeah.


005


So, if you’re drowning, and you’re trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment…
what if you chose to not open your mouth?
To not let the water hit?
Y-You do anyway, it’s a reflex.  


006


But…if you hold off, until that reflex kicks in, you have more time, right?  
Not much time.

007


But more time to fight your way to the surface.
I guess.


008


More time to be rescued.  
More time to be in agonizing pain.
Did you forget about the part where you feel like your head’s exploding?


009


If it’s about surviving, isn’t a little agony worth it?  
I mean, what if it just gets worse?
What if it’s agony now and…and it’s just hell later on?
Then think about something Winston Churchill once said: If you’re going through hell, keep going.  



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Katya: Teen Wolf: Stilesnaive_astronaut on June 2nd, 2013 05:08 pm (UTC)
OMG! This is so SO beautiful! So many feelings!
Downloading fanmix, thank you so much for sharing!
nikkinikki_cee on June 2nd, 2013 06:08 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks so much!:D
'od's fish m'dear: stiles lydiaamoama on June 3rd, 2013 09:56 pm (UTC)
Yeah this is stunning. And heartbreaking. <3
nikkinikki_cee on June 5th, 2013 07:42 pm (UTC)
thanks! (and never meant for it to be that sad; it just happened;))
(Deleted comment)
nikkinikki_cee on June 5th, 2013 07:44 pm (UTC)
thanks! - enjoy when you do :)